I'm in trouble. I have been ever since the divorce. It's gradually gotten worse.
The tally of woes:
1. Not much left in ye old savings and loan
2. un-employed. I'm actively interviewing and my employment status should change soon, but yo no trabajo.
3. I have to leave 3443 a month early because I somehow cannot seem to maintain the lease noise conditions. Those drums will get you every time, even if you get the smiles from the neighbors and play in the middle of the day. I got till Halloween.
4. The newest one yet; my DUI from back in Dec 07? Yeah I missed my court-date, it's now a full on bench warrant. I talked to the bail bonds guy, he said call my attorney on monday; see about a reschedule.
- JK
I'm pretty fucked right now. I know it. I'd go to Home Depot right now and by some rope and hang myself in the middle of the night from my lovely pool view balcony or hope on a Marta train to Art center northbound and get off and drop in front of the southbound, but either of those pain release measures will bring me to new levels of pain, eternal pain. See I believe in the Holy Bible (I'm so uncool, I know) and since I believe in the Holy Bible, God and Jesus and such, suicide would be a sin committed without an opportunity for forgiveness; and if he's playing by the book, he'd send me swimming in the lake of fire with Kurt and Jimi.
There's always the chance of running for the border, but either way I'm sure I'm jacked.
Arizona, Trinity... If you kids read this, be glad your Mom has someone responsible and stable for a replacement. Your dad is on a losing streak and may not have even seen the bottom yet.
This I know. I'm not selling gear or anything. I'm not gonna be a total neverwas.
4 comments:
uh.
so 12 years of the most conservative christian education you could ever imagine taught me that suicide doesn't = eternal damnation. according to this "religion", there is only one "unpardonable" sin.
(sidenote: if you have any contentions with this, debating the pros and cons of this "religion" has always been a favorite pasttime of mine)
secondly.
i believe the stacks at the cotton mill over there on boulevard may be calling your name.
thirdly.
a dui? really?
fourthly.
you missed your court date? really?
fifthly.
cheer up emo man.
you always have a friend in #1301
Things will get better. Even I finally found a J-O-B! Yay me! Life on the homefront is a struggle but I'm hanging in. You do the same. (((edward)))
Thanks Amy... who is ashuh?!
I'll check the stacks, thanks for the kind words. Let the record show I really don't want to die, I love life; I love all the people I am fortunate enough to interact with, I just need to find a way to stabilize and at that point God is revealing a plan. Thanks so much again - both of you!
What do you think of the music?
I gotta find out where #1301 is and follow up with the stacks... all predicated on getting a pay-the-bills day job....
Thanks mystery poster!
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